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Bee-nevolence

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 09:30:00 -0500

I find myself compelled to reply to Mellissa's comments about my comments...

Firstly, I must stress that it was only a day in the life of a wino - and I did spend a considerable amount of time not consuming anything alcoholic but merely trying to get the grip right on the bottle inside the brown paper bag.

As for my not getting away from my desk very much, I'll have you know it took half the village to pull me out of the wine barrel when I fell in whilst trying to crush the grapes! I may stay close to my computer, but only because I know it's safe there.

Moving swiftly on. I do acknowledge that Mellissa might have had a wee problem trying to accurately describe the craft she was trying to persuade me to go up in. I have subsequently been told (by someone with absolutely no connection to bees, but living periously close to the olive tree that broke Alexandros' fall) that in fact said craft bears an uncanny resemblance to a Bond Bug with wings. However, the fact remains unchanged - I will NOT go up in it for all the tea in China, nor krasi in Corfu.

Finally, having looked in my trusty Cassell's English Dictionary I can confirm that there is another meaning for the word bee. A North American term, it is described as "a social meeting for work, usually on behalf of a neighbour". Therefore, it just might be that Mellissa is actually only endeavouring to drum up some community spirit.

That doesn't explain though why she was allegedly observed in the toy section of a certain Elephantine store in Kerkyra earlier this week pushing a trolley full of slip-on fairy wings and deelee boppers.... Of course, I have no way of knowing how true this rumour is .

Since my initial blog (above) it has come to my attention that Mellissa may well be called upon in the not too distant future by a good friend of her's to go and assist in an imminent arrival.

In fact, a few days ago, perhaps prior to realising that she was the one on speed dial when the time came, Mellissa had suggested I might like to go along at the appropriate contraction with a view to doing "A day in the life of a midwife".

On that occasion I declined, not because I'm scared (I've had 2 of my own, children that is, not contractions) but because I already have a plethora of experience in that department, being a birth partner for a friend some years ago. I had the iron gripped bruises to prove it for several months afterwards. I also felt it might not be quite appropriate for me to be there as, whilst I do know the lady in question, I'm not quite a close enough friend to feel comfortable attending such an intimate event.

However, it has just dawned on me. If we ever needed any more proof of my theory about Mellissa's apoidian familiarity... She wanted me to go and witness first hand, then report on a happening concerning the (yes, you've got the drift too now haven't you) birds and the...... BEES!

Bee-fore

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 07:20:00 -0500

Before this goes any further I'd just like to point out that, contrary to earlier claims by a certain member of the Nisea team, I do not have an Apoidian fetish!

"The Day in the life" idea was my way of rewarding B for all her hard work while, injecting a little adventure into her life.

Her latest "Day in the life of .....a wino, sorry Vintager" Made wonderful reading, but I do worry about her being stuck behind her desk all day and not getting enough fresh air.

I'll admit that I did struggle finding the correct name for the "aircraft". Which had nothing to do with not knowing what a microlite looked like, but everything to do with the fact that the "aircraft" in question looks very much like a tractor engine, connected to a couple of windsurf sails!

I was offered this unique flight experience, free of charge by Alexandros, a very nice young man whom I used to teach English many years ago. Not wanting to pull rank in my editorial position, I thought it only fair to ask B to be my "wing woman". (No pun intended!)

I've also got a sneaky suspicion that Alexandros may be planning to pay me back for all the extra homework I used to set him, by ejecting me somewhere over Albania.

The "crash", as B put it has been blown out of all proportion.

Yes, the aircraft did make an "emergency landing" in Platonas, frightening one poor old lady, who happened to be feeding her chickens at the time half to death. But thankfully due to the extensive Greek safety precautions disaster was averted.

The pilot suffered only minimal cuts and bruises after his "parachute" (anorak hood) caught on an olive branch and saved him from certain death, ?..sorry, a bumpy landing!

Alexander and his father have now assured me that the ?aircraft? has now past all safety checks and is ready for Nisea's maiden flight.

Ready when you are B !

Bee-have

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:37:24 -0500

Ah-ha! Now that I've found my way onto the blog site there'll be no stopping me!!

Actually as a bonafide member of the Nisea team I suppose I am probably allowed to make the occasional entry, and there was something that I wanted to bring to the attention of our readers...

Mellissa has been telling us all about being a bee by any other name. Recently she's taken to calling me B too - and I'm beginning to wonder if she has some sort of deep, dark Apoidian secret. I shall explain why I'm just a little concerned.

When we first set Nisea up Mellissa suggested I might write a monthly article entitled "A day in the life of..." It would involve me spending time doing something outside of my normal comfort zone, a job that I am unfamiliar with, that sort of thing.

I agreed that I'd be up for it, with one very firm proviso. I would not be asked to do anything at all that involved heights. She had originally suggested human canon ball amongst other things, and I had a feeling that she'd have been happy for me to clean the windows of the Taipei 101 Tower in Taipei, Taiwan (currently the world's tallest building) providing I wrote a good story about it afterwards.

Since then I have written several pieces about anything from serving beer to making wine, and all have involved keeping my feet firmly on the ground. Mellissa seemed satisfied with these and I was enjoying writing them.

But then it happened, the mask slipped just an iota. We were discussing the November issue's "A day in the life..." and she said 'I've got just the job for you'. 'What?' said I, all eager and interested, perhaps she'd changed her mind about me spending a day with those nice firemen in Acharavi.

'I've been invited to go up in one of those, oh what are they called' she mused, seemingly unable to find quite the right word. 'Hot air balloon?' I offered 'Noooo.' 'Airplane' I tried again, 'or parascending perhaps' (I was starting to get just a trifle agitated at the thought). 'No, no, none of those' she replied. I thought for a moment... 'you don't mean microlite do you?' I asked cautiously. 'Well sort of' came the response. The chap is very nice, and he's only crashed it the once, over Platonas way, but that was ages ago.

Someone tell me I'm just being paranoid, please. Calling me B, trying to get me to fly in inherently unsafe contraption miles (well metres) above the ground. She even tried to pursuade me to make some marmalade for this weekend's craft fair - but if you think about it, honey comes in jam jars too. I know I wore a yellow and black outfit on my wedding day, but I definitely DON'T have wings or antenna, and despite what my husband tells me I don't think I have a sting in the tail either...

Belinda (aka B)

Mellissa: 2 L's 2' S'es & never ever call me Mel !

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:25:00 -0500

Dear readers,

I'd like to share a recently received email with you:

"For an editor, your spelling really is pretty awful you know!
Just seen your friends reunited profile and noticed that your name is wrong. Why are you spelling your name with 2 L's and 2 S'es ?"

........I am not an aurful speler and am shocked at the very implikation !

The truth is it's all my parents fault.........

My parents chose my name, and are sticking to their story that they saw it in print with 2L's and 2S'es. That all went pretty well for about 16 years, unless you count the "School draw incident", when I "corrected" the teachers spelling by ?graffiting? my name sticker........first week at school, age 4 !

Anyway it wasn't until I needed a passport that I saw my birth certificate was spelt with 1'L & 2 S'es !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mum & Dad both blame the clerk, but through further investigation I've realised that I am the only person in the world called Mellissa !

Just to add an additional twist, I now have to sign any official papers with one L, but obviously keep to the 2? L spelling when corresponding with family and friends......confused ? You should be !

Ps, If you shout Mellissa ! In Greek, it means there's a bee swarming round your head ! My parents have a lot to answer for !

M